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Are You Americans, or Are You Mice?
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By Logan Richard West A woman was shot in Minneapolis by ICE agents. The excuse? She tried to block them using her vehicle, when she got scared and tried to pull away–which she was told to do–she was shot in the face. I am not shocked, nor am I surprised. I’m numb to all of…
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If You Voted for Biff-World, Congrats, You’re in Biff-World
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12/11/2025 By Logan Richard West Congrats, Biffonians, you’ve entered the timeline where Biff Tannen runs everything like a scam, where gambling is just called ‘economics,’ and the Great Depression doesn’t exist because a dude who shits himself calls anything he disagrees with, stupid. Though, it has to be said, Biff would probably call reporters butt-heads…
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Trump Regime Moves on Venezuelan Oil Tanker like a B*tch (From Russia With Love)
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12/11/2025 By Gerald McGuffy On December 10th, the Trump Regime detained a Venezuelan oil tanker in the Carribean, citing its use of “false signals” to hide its location. There’s just one problem. Well, two problems, actually. One, we’ve had WAY too much build-up to this moment and it was all very obvious, one could even…
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Closet Homosexuals Find Rightwing Grift Suits Their Needs
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12/10/2025 By Gaillard Welsby Where else can you find closeted homosexuals but at the RNC? Well, you can find openly homosexuals at the DNC, but that’s a far different crowd. Hell, to those who are in the know, that’s a who’s who of all things gay. Democrats don’t even deny it. Why bother? We’re talking…
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FIFA’s New Trophy Opens Portal to Hellish Dimension
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12/8/2025 By Chet Weatherly It seems R’lyeh Francis Kennedy Jr. isn’t the only Elder God with cosmic powers. In a grand display of affection that some are calling “deeply troubling,” Donald Trump accepted a new peace prize created by the FIFA soccer organization. Yes, that’s right, soccer, not futbal, soccer. And yes, also, soccer peace…
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D. voters want fighters, the DNC wants wimps
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By Logan Richard West How do I say this… I am problematic. I am a bully. I’m a mean guy. You wouldn’t know it because I don’t like that guy and I try to keep him locked in the box. But, to quote Alice in Chains, “I AM the man in the box.” That person…
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Peter Thiel, Reptilian, or Poor Excuse for a Human?
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December 6, 2025 By David Langstrom Seasteading manmade floating islands in international waters, founding libertarian city-states in the desert, space as the final frontier, all of these would be enough to write about at length, and yet, Peter Thiel’s most notable obsession is the anti-christ. Determined to find some shred of humanity in this otherwise…
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RFK Jr. reveals himself as a vessel for Cthulhu
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December 5, 2025 By Kenze B. Kimmer In a garish reveal at the oval office that shocked absolutely no one, Robert Franklin Kennedy Junior the Third peeled back his skin-suit mask to reveal himself as the unfathomable cosmic horror, Cthulhu. With mouth tendrils slick and dripping with sea water, Robert-who prefers to be called R’lyeh-…
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Zionists Invent Time Travel, Regret It
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12/4/2025 By Leon “Tex” McCoy Deep in the heart of Israel’s most elaborate and expensive research facility, which we will call Black Mesa due to the fact I don’t speak Hebrew, Zionist scientists have worked their enslaved engineers to the bone developing time travel. “It’s a modern miracle,” one scientist tells me. “With this portaly…
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Donald Trump’s toupee gains sentience
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November 27, 2025 By Steven Schmiegal It finally happened, and just in time for Thanksgiving.After years of inquiry and speculation, Donald Trump’s toupee has not just gained sentience, but has finally broken free from the president’s skull. As luck would have it, I’ve been covering this story for a while now, and happened to be…
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